Let’s Face it: Rape; it’s your Fault
September 30, 2013 4
“Ladies, do you think rape is something men do out of a desire for control empowered by years of patriarchy? You’ve clearly been mislead by the notion that women are people too, because let’s face it ladies, rape; it’s your fault. It all begins with what you wear. Scientific studies suggest that women who wear skirts are the leading cause of rape, do you know why? Because men have eyes.”
This video, although produced in an Indian context, speaks to our culture in many ways and easily transferable to any patriarchal context where cultures blame the victims of rape for dressing inappropriately, walking alone, working late or standing suggestively. In our culture we seldom blame the harasser for verbal assault and more often than not blame the victims even though the position slightly shifts when it levies up to serious physical assault, but we would also gladly point finger at the provocatively dressed victim whose breasts and bottom just got grabbed.
“Notice the one thing they all had in common? That’s right, all women. No women, no rape.” Now some people may argue that the crime is committed by men, now to these people I say, who gives birth to these men? Right again, it’s us.”
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I’m not arguing whose fault it is, not because I agree or disagree but because after all those years Still I didn’t have a strong opinion but here what I came up with so far:
1) You have put it perfectly when you said “Because men have eyes” yes we do, BUT we should have control over our own acts, we are not animals (even animals don’t do that) we are humans and should have logic and self discipline.
2) This is more applicable in our region and culture more than it is in India, how come a locale girl will be harassed from verbal to god forbid more than that, and what she is wearing was contributing to it? also if an expatriate was wearing the same kind or style of clothing she lets say can be safer, All I could think of was with the expatriate the guy will most likely be punished while with the first girl there is a great chance that he will get away with it.
If my guess was true that means that just the thought that he might get punished makes him think twice.
3) Some guys are Stupid enough to get the wrong message, from the girl cloth, way of talking even body language, so know who are you talking to and what might be his background be like, If you dress, talk or act different than he is used to where he lives or the environment around him, he will be guessing….
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Dear Ramy,
Thank you for your comment, and we are definitely glad to read from a guy on this.
YEs, the fact that guys have ‘urges’ is no where near an excuse as, like you have said, they should have discipline and not act like animals.
YOu’re very right about how it is more likely that a guy harassing a foreigner is more likely to get punished than one harassing an Egyptian girl, although that doesn’t seem to stop them from harassing both and the horror stories we heard of from reporters in Tahrir getting gang-raped are truly terrifying.
Sure, we understand how people from different backgrounds misinterpret different messages and behavior, but that doesn’t mean he can go ahead and take a woman’s attire as permission to touch her without her consent nonetheless, even if she seems more provocative than women he usually comes across, right?
Thanks again for your message,
Nadine -
Yes I heard about the tahrir, and not only that even some told me that this was one of the things they are struggling to cope with when they move in to our beloved Egypt.
And off course that is no excuse for him if the girl is different than what he think is the norm, I just came across that a lot and wanted to share what I have noticed.
Thanx for the amazing blog and I hope you don’t mind a guy viewing it 😀
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Of course, Ramy, we really appreciate your input and feedback and we can always use a male’s perspective so thanks again for your comment,
Best,
Nadine
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